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| Aliens Fanfiction http://www.forum.alienslegacy.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3476 |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Aliens Fanfiction |
im thinking of possibly writing an aliens fanfiction...anybody have any recommendations? |
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| Author: | metalalien [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:14 am ] |
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in what way? Do you want story ideas? mywebsite is sort of a fan fiction... www.metalalien.com |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
alright, here is my rough draft for the first half of the first chapter: Quote: A blinding flash of light illuminated his sky-blue eyes, as the reverberating thunderous blast of sound battered his ears. His slightly dented body armor was caked with the dried, silver-colored blood of the Horde Scout-bugs and the thick, strange mud of this alien world. A cross hung next to his dog tags, which read:
![]() In his hands, an M41-a Pulse Rifle spat forth a hail of bullets that decimated the Horde multitudes. All of a sudden, he heard shouting off to his left. It was Sgt. Allen Bergeron. “Lieutenant! Sir, they just cancelled our air support, most of the armor is scrap, and we just lost our medic!” “Is there any good news?” Allen smiled a dark, twisted smile. “Their air support is also gone, their reinforcements are cut off, and we’ve almost killed every last one.” “Then this is a good day!” Mike replied, turning just in time to see a Soldier-bug poised to swipe at his face with its’ super sharp, super hard claws. As he stepped back to avoid the blow, he fired three quick bursts, blowing off the creature’s arm, a piece of its’ chest armor, and half of the thing’s head. |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
this is a cross between the Aliens universe and my idea for an original novel. Especially notice the USCM reference. |
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| Author: | Dropshipbob [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:35 pm ] |
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I've seen fan fiction posted here many times, sadly, they never seem to get many replies. Not that that should stop you. Just wanted to throw that out there so it wouldn't be a surprise. |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
yeah, i just thought it might be a good read. its a WIP, obviously, but i'm hopeful that it will all turn out good... Hopefully not like that!!! |
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| Author: | Dropshipbob [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah man, go for it. Just because people might not say much, doesn't mean they don't like it or aren't reading it. |
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| Author: | Luinsar [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I've been writing for a good while now, and I've noticed that people tend to not say much unless you present them with a finished product - and even then... But as far as I'm concerned, that's no reason to stop writing. I know I do it first for my own enjoyment, and second because occasionally I have a story in me that just HAS to come out. Regardless of who reads it! Soon, soon, I'll really get to work on my Colonial Tales. It just seems that there's always something in the way... Anyways. General impression so far: nice! Keep going. If you want more in-depth comment, I can also do that, assuming you want constructive criticism! |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:02 pm ] |
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as long as it's constructive, i don't mind...i actually welcome it! |
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| Author: | Luinsar [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:08 pm ] |
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Well, I'll need a longer bit, of course. Is that the very beginning, or is there stuff before? |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:40 pm ] |
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that's all i got for now, i'm afraid...probably be writing more soon, though. and yes, that's how it starts (at least in my rough draft). |
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| Author: | Hollis DZC [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Good start, you might want to tone down the adjectives a bit. "thundering, reverberating" "super-sharp, super-hard" "blowing off the creature’s arm, a piece of its’ chest armor, and half of the thing’s head." This sentence might be easier to read this way: As the 3 shot burst of 10 mm rounds exploded into the creature, fully half of it's upper torso flew apart in large chunks. The thing collapsed at Mike's feet, quivering spasmodically... Just a suggestion... |
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| Author: | Luinsar [ Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Suggestion as well - take it or leave it at will, as it is fairly dependant on intent and style: If this is the opening sequence, you want it to have a good deal of punch - hook your reader in right away. A good trick for that is to describe a furious battle, which you've begun to do (add a bit more, talk about what's happening to other soldiers...), and JUST the furious battle. Drop in a couple of nuggets of information here and there, either when needed (like the characters' names, or ranks, so you have synonims at your disposal) or when relevant (the cross flashes across his face as he twists violently to avoid a swipe, you know, something like that); but otherwise, leave the description for later. Just throw the reader into a whirlwind leave him gasping for air, and when the action is over, let him have a breather by doing the extra description: where is this taking place, who are the soldiers fighting, full names, physical appearance, etc... I find it works well for me, and our styles aren't totally different (including the extra adjective sprinklage Or maybe it's rubbish and you want to do your own thing - as I said, to be taken with a grain of salt. |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
here is my latest revision: Quote: Aliens/Star Trek Fanfiction
Chapter 1 Ankthor, Northern Continent, Hin plains, Horde Territory February 19, 2542, Standard Earth Calendar The ramp of the dropship opened with a pneumatic whine, as the pilot struggled to keep the ship from crashing. Marines rushed out quickly, with the first couple falling dead from enemy fire. One Marine in particular, though, stood out from the rest. He shouted orders to the rest of the group, who obeyed without hesitation. They knew that this Marine was in charge, and that he knew what he was doing. A blinding flash of light illuminated his sky-blue eyes, as the reverberating thunderous blast of sound battered his ears. His slightly dented body armor was caked with the dried, silver-colored blood of the Horde Scout-bugs and the thick, strange mud of this alien world. A cross hung next to his dog tags, which read: Dogtag pic here In his hands, an M41-a Pulse Rifle spat forth a hail of bullets that decimated the Horde multitudes. All of a sudden, he heard shouting off to his left. It was Sgt. Allen Bergeron. “Lieutenant! Sir, they just cancelled our air support, most of the armor is scrap, and we just lost the only other Marine left!” “Is there any good news?” Allen smiled a dark, twisted smile. “Their air support is also gone, their reinforcements are cut off, and we’ve almost killed every last one.” “Then this is a good day!” Mike replied, turning just in time to see a Soldier-bug poised to swipe at his face with its super sharp, super hard claws. As he stepped back to avoid the blow, he fired three quick bursts, blowing off the creature’s arm, a piece of its chest armor, and half of the thing’s head. As the dead bug fell backwards to the ground, Mike stepped over its corpse and looked to the horizon, where the planet’s two brilliantly blue suns rose majestically in the sky. He turned his head as he heard the familiar, comforting, high-pitched whine of a UD-4L Cheyenne dropship’s engines, as it descended to carry them away from the battle-ravaged landscape, littered with bomb craters and bodies. As the Marines ran to the dropship, Mike took one last look around and paused for a moment to ponder how many of those bodies belonged to the brave men and women of the US Colonial Marines. |
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| Author: | Mike Rush [ Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
There's not a lot to read so far, but I've read worse. And on a personal note - thank you for not naming all your characters 'Scott', 'O'Bannon', 'Cameron', etc... That particular practice really gets on my nerves. |
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| Author: | SgtTony [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I write.....been doing the same story for 8 years now.....the key is not to give up. And unless you intend to make money by publishing it....if you like it that's all that matters I personally hope to get published one day, but I need a finished story first |
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| Author: | Maverick [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 2:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
i have a heck of a time thinking of original names, so i just got permission from my friends and am using their names |
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| Author: | Luinsar [ Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The internet phone book is your friend there! ^_^ I think you Yanks even have an online census site of some sort - even better. Where it gets really tricky is when you want to include really foreign names - and keep them both authentic AND usable by your [probably mostly western] readers... One thing I'd advise against when using the "Friends' names" solution: don't do that if the character is going to die. It feels... icky, when you write the death. |
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